On Saturday England women took on France in the TikTok 6 nations grand slam decider, A world record crowd for a women’s game witnessed something very special. I am not hear to talk about the game though
Many people have talked about the diversity of the crowd but there was something even more important: Within that younger, and more female crowd was also a demographic that have been around the game for many years. The old boys who have been the fabric of the game for generation after generation. The ones who have been priced out of the modern, corporate Twickenham of the men’s game. They were in the on the trains and in the cafes on the way to the game, they were in the pubs having a late breakfast, they were not the majority, but they are an example of one of the many defining moments in this event.
For the women’s game to truly succeed, it can uniquely attract new viewers as well as providing a new and very different experience for these more traditional fans of the game. They are rugby fans; they are not the ones who now fill the stadiums for men’s games, to whom the rugby is now a secondary experience. Those traditional fans that were there on Saturday, possibly seeing a women’s game maybe for the first time, will have nothing but positive experience to share. In a way the rugby was the peripheral but not in a beer swilling, lads, lads, lads way. This was more than a game it was a celebration of where the women’s game has gone and where it is going.
I met up with countless people I have known in my rugby journey over the years, I drank too much, repeated the same stories and probably bored many people to tears, but it was a moment in which I felt the women’s game deserved; It was a thank you to the giants of the game from the past, those people who have banged the drum, the scrumqueens, the journalists who have pushed to promote it, and all of those pioneers who set the standards .
How do I measure success now? When 2025 comes around I hope I can’t get a ticket for the Twickenham final.
As my group of friends and I sat around the table last Saturday night, the realisation came to me of the importance and value of time. I joked that having a meal was great, but if they had just all put £20 in a pot, they could have got me something really nice.
The truth is getting 8 people with busy lives’, and great responsibility’s, around a table these days is a logistical nightmare. There are now children, grandchildren, aging parents, and all manner of other things to consider.
The value of time in the modern world, is now a gift that is more precious than any financial reward. Giving up time to someone else, to be present in someone else’s life, in a world where we are stretched and spread around so thinly is a valuable gift and it shows we care.
I have reached a time in my life where I am conscious of the fact the time ahead of me is less than the time, I have behind me. My desire to spend it in a way that feels worthwhile is important to me. I made a pledge to try to stay present in all my encounters with other people, to avoid being distracted by devices and to try an improve an area in my life that I have been poor at. To truly be there in the moment – this oft repeated cliché – is so important to how we ensure that we are not ticking boxes but trying to connect with other people.
We must be careful of thinking it’s possible to ‘make time’ to do things. This delusion that time is something we can conjure up. The truth is we can’t make time, we must be willing to spend it. The finite hours we have are valuable and we must treat them as such. We never know what is around the corner, or even if there is a corner. I am not the most sociable of humans, but one of the greatest pleasures in life, is talking and sharing our lives with friends and even strangers. We discover something new, we reminisce on something past, and we connect with each other, and this to me, is the real meaning to life.
What would you tell yourself 5 years ago: actually, what would you tell your young self if you could write them a letter?
I heard a song by Don Mclean over the festive holiday it is called “Crossroads” it is a beautiful melancholy song, and one of the parts in it that really spoke to me was:
You know I’ve heard about people like me,
but I never made the connection
They walked one road to set them free
and find they’ve gone the wrong direction
But there’s no need for turning back
‘cause all roads lead to where I stand
and I believe I’ll walk them all
No matter what I may have planned.
To think to yourself that in life no matter how up and down things are, you ultimately always end up in the place you are standing. The reason this interested me so much was because it made me think about all the times, I held back from doing or saying the things I know I should have done.
We need to accept the river of life is not something we can navigate risk free – I thought about this a lot over the Christmas season; turning 50 obviously acted as a period of reflection, coupled with the lurgy that seemed to engulf the country – In truth life will always present us with many challenging events. We cannot be protected from the losses and the moments where life dishes out its most painful realities. In those moments we must just hold on as best we can. Trying to make sense of what feels senseless. However, what it really made me think about was all those things I was afraid of confronting: how they all came to pass anyway. Whether it’s a difficult person, career choice or any number of things, rather than be afraid of the outcome, just do what you know is right.
This weekend I have a group of friends treating me to a meal as part of my 50th celebration they are a group I’ve never had to tiptoe around, I’ve never had to worry about doing my own thing, or that in doing that, they will sulk and have issues. Like all true friends they know my failings and they don’t make me feel bad about it. That is what friendship is about and ultimately what life is about.
I would like you to think about all those people in your life who made you feel like a bad friend or family member. The people who you tiptoed around trying to avoid upset. In the cold light of day if you need to do this with anyone; the relationship whatever it is, is ultimately doomed. So again, you will end up where you are no matter how you avoid it.
It’s often the same with your career as well, you get into a routine that is comfortable and we care about. We allow ourselves to be overlooked and mistreated as we are afraid that we may not find anything else. Yet in truth we could be let go at any point. So far better to speak up when we have the opportunity.
So, the message I would give to my younger self is a simple one; don’t allow your life to drift by, fearful of things you cannot control. Value those people who make you feel valuable, stand up for what you can stand up for, and confront those people that do not treat you fairly. Ultimately, you want to be wherever you end up; knowing you are there on your own terms.
The sport of rugby has long prided itself on its moral superiority over the round ball game. How we call the ref “sir” even if it’s a woman. How we ‘shake hands and have a beer after a game or how the fans all mix together to enjoy the experience…..
The truth is rugby currently is on a pathway to the same problems that soccer is facing and has a very strange blind spot for its massive inbuilt issues.
Let’s not beat around the bush, rugby has for a long time been sliding into this abyss. If we are honest, we must understand we are all to blame. It is a sport where coaches have actively coached cheating, where acts of cheating are celebrated and seen as gamesmanship: pleading for penalties and cards is continuous from the minute the game kicks off to the minute the final whistle blows. A game where players conspire to milk penalties rather than play rugby. Referees spend 80 minutes trying to manage 30 players who are trying to con him, and convince him whatever is happening is nothing to do with them, while coaches screech at him from the side-lines. In fact, the coaches are screeching at their players, the opposition and anyone in earshot, making the game as a spectator at grassroots almost unbearable; in fact if you watch some games on TV the commentators have to apologise for it.
As for the fans, the fans now, via social media and in the stands add a new toxic element to the game. The recent unhinged ramblings of Rassie Erasmus inspire his cult of followers to believe South Africa are victims of a World Rugby conspiracy that even Donald Trump would shy away from. Yet this narrative is aimed at applying pressure to referees, Rassie isn’t the 1st to do this but he is now taking it to a new level.
World Rugby have don’t nothing to address this issue, they have done nothing to promote the methods they use to review and work with referees, nothing to try to make people aware that there is an entire review process of all referees and all games and that no stone is unturned on trying to improve referees’ performance. There are soundbites but there needs to be an active global campaign designed to save the game we all love.
I am no saint; I must put it out there. I have been guilty of overexuberance on the side-line. I would say I have never once thought a referee was biased against my team, also they are human, if you give them stick all game you are not exactly making it easy for them. At grassroots rugby you can have some interesting interpretations, but these guys have no touch judges no tv replays and they can never see things from the same angle we can see them on the side-line. As fans, coaches, and players we must accept the imperfections of the referee in the way we accept the imperfections of the players and ourselves.
There is a whole following of the game now that is determined to blame referees for every occasion that their team loses. Turn to twitter this weekends every country that lost is complaining about the referees, in fact some of the countries that won are still complaining about decisions. Rugby is an incredibly complex game; the laws are multiple and interpreting them on the international stage is a very challenging game. This thought that referees are biased against your nation, club or team is so bizarre. It’s an arrogance that for a start they care that much about you they want to make sure you fail.
These events mark an epoch in rugby’s history. As clubs disappear in financial mismanagement, we must become aware that all that is great about our game is not what it is now. The moments that make rugby so special are slipping away and as rugby clubs suffer from ever dwindling memberships, we must think about what made us love the game. I don’t ever look back at the great joy I have had from the game and remember much; what I do remember are the friends I have made, the fun I have had and the desire it gave me to share that with others. I fear at the moment, all those things are at risk of being washed away by an ever growing storm which we are all have a responsibility to address.
On the 18th of March 2016 England had just been defeated in the grand slam decider against France in the six nations. The Stadium in Vannes had been filled with noise and hostility towards the English team led by Sarah Hunter.
England had been through the mill since the world cup victory in 2014. In 2015 they lost to Wales, France, and Ireland and finished a dismal 4th in the Six nations. 2016 saw the early steps of improvement. France were just too good on the day.
As the fans filed out, I saw Sarah Hunter in the stands with her mum and dad, she was distraught. It sticks with me to this day. She had given everything. I have met Sarah Hunter on many occasions and first and foremost she always seems to be an incredibly nice person, generous with her time and a real example of what a role model should look like.
When a player plays at the top for as long as Hunter has done; the way they play is often overlooked. In many ways it is taken for granted. It becomes so much the norm that it is undervalued. Richard Hill— who I know is a player Sarah Hunter looked up to—is a player who performed in a similar way: doing unseen and essential work that makes a team tick. Hill and Hunter are both players whose work is often most visibly noticeable in their absence from a team.
What is often overlooked is what an incredible competitor she is. Let us be honest she is about to achieve an incredible feat in overtaking Rochelle Clark’s 137 cap record; in a position in which there is more competition than any other in England. The English women’s back row could field 3 or 4 combinations and all of them would be capable of winning important games. There are players that stand out and there are players capable of doing incredible things. Hunter enables a team to function, carrying the heavy burden of shear hard work, the player to carry into the guts of the oppositions when they are stood in a wall in front of them. The player who will repel attack after attack with their body on the line. A player technically gifted in control of a ball whether her scrum is in retreat or surging forward.
Sarah Hunter will rightly go down as one of England rugby’s best players. Whatever the outcome of this World Cup. Her list of achievements within the game will sit among the very best the country has ever produced: for now though there is a job to do and there is no one better to lead it.
I called this blog ‘No One Cares About Women’s Rugby’ for one reason:- click bait.
At Welford Road yesterday another crowd record tumbled. I was at the ground very early, due to parking panic. It did mean I got to have a Leicester tigers sausage roll which to be honest was possibly the best sausage roll I have ever eaten. Bearing in mind how many I have consumed over my lifetime that is some rating!
Now onto the serious stuff. There are moments in sport that you wish you were part of; yesterday was equivalent to feeling that you were part of an incredible transformation in the women’s game.
I won’t lie I was genuinely moved by the atmosphere, the event, and the sheer speed at which this change has happened.
Taking women’s rugby to rugby heartlands is a huge thing. In the crowd it wasn’t just the young kids and families of the past. There were flat capped Leicester fans, there were the old boys coming along to see what was happening. Cheering the powerful scrums as if it were a Heineken cup game of years gone by. It was heart-warming it was inspiring and it was exhilarating.
There were other things that made it so special. The 400 pioneers of the game whose stories are a thing of legend. Who didn’t just start this journey they had to first create a map, sail through storms and fight the type of creatures that would make Jason and the Argonauts turn tail and run. The sense of pride they must have felt sat in that crowd on Sunday must be hard to define.
Then there was the 100th cap of Emily Scarratt, the fact she got to run out in front of the crowd of a team she has supported all her life must have been an incredible moment, for her and her family. She is an inspirational player and a talismanic figure in the sport. Most importantly she is tough and resilient and sets a great example that young people.
I don’t want to talk about the game, or the Irish situation. I felt the Irish team did all it could do yesterday and though I am sure they are disappointed they can be proud of the fight they put up. I want to see all the women’s teams as supported by their unions as they are by there fans. Then we will see a women’s six nations that can be as anticipated and exciting as the male version has been for years. More than that it grows the game of rugby for everyone. That does mean unions have to show they do care!
At the start of the six nations, I said I felt France would win this year. After the 1st four games I cannot see how they beat this England team. It is a relentless beast and I don’t know how you stop it.
I have thrown away the play book. After years of holding onto my belief in patterns and their ability to break down defences. I have realised they are not only an excuse to avoid coaching skills; they are also a blindfold which we throw over players to stop them seeing what is going on in front of them.
Rugby is not a ballroom dance and as such it can’t be choregraphed. That doesn’t mean you can’t teach the dance moves. You just must let the players decide whether it’s going to be a samba, foxtrot or waltz they decide to swing their hips too. Most importantly they need to listen to the music…………ok, ok, I know I’ve got carried away with that metaphor but let me expand.
I am coaching players now who are so conditioned to play same way rugby that if you tell the defence to not put anyone on the side the ball came from that attack still won’t play into it. I hear “we have to earn the right to go wide.” When there is acres of space on the wing and a two man overlap. Players are so used to being told what to do that they become uncomfortable when patterns are removed.
As coaches we have stopped coaching players the skills to play rugby and started dictating to them which pod they are supposed to be in.
I had a conversation with a player who said, “but we would normally do this here so are you saying we can’t do that?” my response was “you can do what you like but can I ask you does it always result in a try and no errors?” This is the crux of the situation. This comfort blanket that structure provides coaches and players isn’t about making players better it’s about trying to control something.
I am fighting a battle; I have had this epiphany very recently and the team I am helping coach now hasn’t won a game. So, you could argue I am wrong. Yet I believe somewhere down the line we are working towards something bigger. Also, I know they are enjoying playing with freedom and with less fear. I can watch the game searching for skills to improve to make the team better at dealing with the things they encounter.
Grassroots rugby should be fun it should be about throwing it around and having fun not 1-3-3-1 or pods and pistons.
The absolute worst thing to happen to rugby is that people at the grassroot part of it watch the elite game and try to replicate it.
The stakes aren’t the same, the outcomes aren’t the same and the players are not the same. Success is that people have fun, people come back, and people belong.
Much will rightly be made about the success of Harlequins this season. The journey they have been on as a club, the success of the women’s team and now, against the odds wins, in the semi-final and final of the Premiership. There will be talk of how they did it, how the “culture” created success. I think it’s important that if you want to be successful as a team to never try to copy a culture and most importantly believe it to be the reason why success has happened.
To put it in perspective Quin’s semi-final and final produced a total point scored of 157 yet Quins winning margin over both games was only 9. This isn’t written to diminish Harlequins achievements it is written as a warning to those who try to copy any “winning” formula. Grassroots community clubs will all be looking for what they can replicate.
Results will always drive the narrative, it’s important to realise that had Harlequins lost the semi-final, we would be talking about the winning culture of Bristol or Exeter. I imagine both are very different to the one at Quins. The same for Saracens the All Blacks, South Africa, or any other successful sporting franchise.
England in the world cup in 2015 were pilloried and ridiculed for exiting the group stage of a home world cup. What would the narrative had been had they scored a driving lineout try and lost in the quarter final? Stuart Lancaster would probably have been put through a far more dignified assessment of his role and maybe would have had a chance to prove his qualities as a coach which he has since been able to prove elsewhere.
While we talk about coaches a lot is being said about how Paul Gustard’s time at Quins. Brian Clough, arguably one of the most successful sports coaches England has ever produced, went to Leeds and lasted 44 days before he was turfed out. He wasn’t successful there, not because he wasn’t successful and capable, but he simply didn’t suit that club. Gustard likewise didn’t suit Harlequins and as I don’t wish failure on anyone, well not anyone just not people I don’t know. I hope, like Lancaster he is able to go away and take something from his time there that helps him in the future.
So beware of trying to manufacture “Culture” at the cost of the individual. The success of most teams is not about creating something to live by but harnessing all the individual needs to be successful. Every player on that pitch for Harlequins would have had a different reason to be there. Joe Marler’s drive to win the game would be different to Louis Lynagh’s. Some wanted to prove a point for their team or for themselves. Some would have been driven by a need to beat someone in the opposition. Some wanted to do so to make someone proud. In some simply a fear of losing. There was a squad of 23 players each one would have a unique reason to drive them towards their goal. That requires an ability to motivate each person, in a unique way, to harness all those strands of desire and in some cases fear. When it works it’s almost impossible to stop.
In Community sports clubs, culture is ever changing it should never be written on a wall it should be decoration that at some points needs to be repainted and updated. The only marker that should count is how many people come back next week, next month and next year. It is about clubs that can overcome losing as well as celebrate winning. What grassroots community clubs should take from Harlequins success is that playing rugby to win is a lot more fun than playing it to avoid losing.
My last post produced some really nice touches from people and made me feel really positive. You can’t always rely on people to drop everything because you are having a bad time, but people did reach out. That has been really heart-warming.
This last 12 months has taught me an awful lot about my relationship with myself and with those around me. It has taught me that support always comes from the most unexpected places. People who I have had pretty limited contact in the past have offered me the best advice and the best support I could have hoped for. So many of my friends have reached out and called or passed on some info that has been helpful.
Since posting about my work situation with my previous employers. I have been on the job hunt. I have also won a year’s supply of coffee with Caffe Nero, which has done nothing to reduce my heart palpitations and anxiety; however, it has helped keep the costs down while I continue my job search.
The biggest shock to me is the sense I cannot rest until I have a job offer. 32 years of “going to work” has conditioned me to feel that, unless I am on the job, I am somehow not being productive. The world of job searches has changed so much since I last took part. It’s a relentless battle.
It feels a bit like internet dating, (of which I have several horror stories, but I may keep them for another blog) You meet a potential partner, you get on, you go on a few dates. Try and be on your best behaviour and just when you think it’s all going well, they stop answering your calls and messages. There seems to be no etiquette.
I had one interview that went so well I came out of it buzzing as if that was the job situation solved. This was 4 weeks ago. Since then, I have tried calling, sent an email and had zero response from the company.
A second job I applied for, which was only for a very low-level position put me through a screening interview, followed by 3 more interviews in which I was more perplexed each time as if I was being required to go on a quest to find a golden fleece, battle minotaur’s and find the blood of a unicorn to continue my quest to a bizarre job which didn’t really have any purpose.
So it’s a learning curve, like most things in life. I will keep plodding away and will find something. I know I will I just need to find the right something.
I may start volunteering in some way so if anyone needs a rugby coach, someone who can paint, fix stuff, clean, walk dogs or put up a shelf let me know. Maybe that could be a new business a true all-rounder. I come round paint your fence, take your dog for a walk put up a shelf, then coach you how to scrummage? Contact for rates……
A month or so ago, I didn’t expect to walk into work and find myself faced with a decision to leave.
I was very good at my job and I have to admit the last few years have been incredibly challenging but by mutual decision it was decided it was best for me to leave and so today for the 1st time in 32 years since leaving school at 16 I start a week jobless.
There is a sense of failure about the whole thing and there is a sense of personal loss. It is hard not to take personally because as I say I was good at my job. It just didn’t seem to work out for myself or the company. Work gives me purpose, even if I don’t enjoy it. I try to do my best. The feeling of not being needed, the sense that you are surplus to requirements is a brutal feeling and one I am struggling to come to terms with.
I have always struggled with confidence and with feeling good enough for anything I do. I didn’t know where it came from, but I sensed it throughout my life. The imposter syndrome that one day I would be found out and that people would realise I wasn’t supposed to be in the room.
The last few months I watched a series called Educating Essex and the other series that spin off of it. The thing that really hit home to me how much damage can be done to kids who feel they are worthless or feel they can’t do something. Almost all of the kids that fall off the system struggle with something and search for that someone to support them and most importantly someone to believe in them. I know from watching this programme this is so much improved in today’s education system. When those things are absent the response is often to stop trying.
I know that failure hurts, but failure when you really try is heart breaking and as such we learn behaviours that make us avoid failure. Sometimes they are avoiding close relationships, avoiding commitment, avoiding possibly difficult challenges simply because we don’t want to fail. Failure is crippling but in avoiding it I have found myself never living up to my potential.
At 48, watching those kids playing up, giving up and saying “I can’t do it there’s no point” really affected me and woke up a part of my memory I had never really analysed. I saw so much of myself in them. So much frustration and the sense that at 15-16 they were already destined to such a self-destructive path. I didn’t take my GCSE’s seriously I sat in multiple choice exams and just randomly ticked boxes because I had already been told I wouldn’t pass so what was the point? I wanted to speak directly to them and tell them that failure isn’t fatal. That trying and coming up short may hurt but it can also inspire you to be better.
It’s taken me a long, long time to come to terms with the damage my school did to me as a person. To my confidence in myself, to my feeling of self-worth. This year I have applied to do an English GCSE. I want to prove to myself I am capable. I know many people will think that it’s odd at my age. However, for me it will be closure on a part of my life that scarred me so much and made me comfortable with telling myself I was a failure.
There is a scene at the end of the film “Rocketman” in which the young Elton stands in front of his adult self and says, “When are you going to hug me?” and I realised that no matter what age you might be, sometimes you have to let go of the past. Forgive yourself for the things you did when you didn’t know any better.
I went for a job interview last week the interviewers were so impressed with all the things I had done, professionally and personally the solutions I had for problems they were facing. I came away no longer feeling like an imposter. No longer feeling like I didn’t deserve to be offered a good job or a new challenge. I may not get that job, but it was a giant step on the road to knowing that life will be ok. I will survive this challenging part of my life and come out better for it. There may be failures on the way, but I am realising they are not fatal.
We are coming close to a year of restrictions and trying to adapt to something we could never have thought possible in the early days of 2020.
The possibility that our sports would stop, our families would be separated and in some cases members lost. On a daily walk we would treat and be treated by people we pass by like they were people we must avoid. Before leaving the house we would add mask to our keys, wallet and phone as things we needed to remember. That our pubs and restaurants would close, and our workplaces would become ghost towns reduced to the bare bones of those who couldn’t work remotely.
When you look at what we have been through it is hard to imagine any of us will escape unscathed from the mental challenge of this experience.
I coped ok in the 1st lockdown, I had just moved into a new flat, a chance to have my own space was something I had wanted for some time. So my time was taken up with decorating, making furniture, “the house of pallets” as my friend called it. The sun was out so there were opportunities to get some rays and then things eased and you were able to mingle again in a limited way.
When the second lockdown was announced the feeling was very different. The isolation of working with less people. Coupled with the need to do a job that involved no thought just constant repetitive work and as such too much time to think. The darkening nights, strained personal relationships that the lack of face to face communication compounds. I am lucky to have a partner who has been incredibly supportive. When I have been at my irrational worst, she has offered me sound advice and comfort. The fact she has had to cope with full time work, juggling 2 kids and all that goes with that makes her even more saint like in my eyes.
It is the times you are alone that are the hardest. Any strain in your work, or your friendships or your pastimes are exacerbated. You feel you are fighting everyone and everything and that there is no one on your side. When the truth is that everyone else is trying to survive.
When I have been alone, I have questioned my value as a person, a friend and in anything I am involved in. Where communication is absent our minds fill in the blanks. I will tell you first-hand your mind isn’t always our friend. Sometimes it’s a bit of a prick. It has had me write resignation letters, delete people from my contacts because I don’t feel they are on my side or that they are even really friends. There are all manner of irrational things that we cannot fathom forced into our over active brains at times like these.
The last week has been a real wake up call for me as to the impact it has had on me. I share this because I know I am not alone. I know there are people out there going through the same thing. There will be some normality at some point its hard to see but it will come. We just need to realise the effects we all have on each other and try to take the sting out of the difficulties we are all going through.
Spring is hiding round the corner, warmer days and brighter times lay ahead until then good luck.
24 hours after Katy Dayley-Mclean announced her retirement, Loughborough Lightning travelled to Saracen’s in what was a compelling battle. Significantly it also put Zoe Harrison and Helena Rowland in direct competition. An interesting battle of two candidates who are in a potential line of succession for the now vacant 10 shirt. Let’s not beat around the bush there are other candidates and while Rowland and Harrison battled it out; Meg Jones added 9 points to her impressive haul. There are more challengers to this crown.
The one thing they all have in common is they are now no longer in the shadows of one of the greatest players to wear an England shirt. Katy Daly Mclean will leave a hole that can be filled by these players, but it will be some time before it is securely sealed. What she leaves behind is not just about playing ability but about a mental toughness that can only be forged from heart-breaking defeats and tough lessons. She has been an incredible ambassador for the game and her playing standards have seen her get better every year I have watched her.
As decisions go it was one of the biggest, I could imagine. With less than a year from a World Cup and England looking as strong as they are. I was certain KDM was going to be directing the play around the pitch from the fly half position. However, if 2020 has taught us anything it taught us how quickly things can change. It also made us realise the important things in life.
As player I remember the 2014 pool game against Samoa where she took so many big hits in the end she had to come off. In 2017 I think she played so much good rugby she looked imperious. A player so comfortable in her role she was never seemed to put a foot wrong. She was a catalyst for lots of what England did so well. 2017 didn’t end in the fairy-tale. Reality rarely does but that doesn’t take away the standards she set as a player.
KDM is not just a player of the highest quality, she also had the ability to find the right words at the right time, as highlighted by her speech after the success of 2014 world cup. When she spoke about the women who came before and never quite got to achieve the pinnacle of the sport. As England now search for the next player to take on the role Daley-Mclean leaves behind. They truly will be standing on the shoulder of one of the giants of the sport. The fact there are now so many choices for the role also goes to show how far the women’s game has come. In part due to the inspirational way Katy Daley-Mclean has gone about her job. She has played a huge role in the development of the women’s game and those that will come along in the future. As she thanked all the women who came before a lot of people will want to thank her for all she has achieved.
I think the COVID crisis will have a lasting impact on life in this country and how we live going forward. I believe for grassroots rugby it could be the greatest thing to happen, if we use this time to revisit the values of our game.
We know that the RFU is now in a precarious position and it has allowed itself, in my opinion, to be dragged away from what it really is. This has filtered down throughout clubs and counties.
What I mean by this, is it has been driven by growth and like a lot of business that distracts you from a basic universal truth. Growth has to be a symptom of good governance and the creation of a good product. It has to be the outcome of good practices and if it is built on anything forced it is something that runs a risk of never being sustainable.
The RFU’s drive to spend big and throw money at players and to attract corporate money filters down. Look at the spending in the premiership? COVID has taught us one thing: – sustainability matters.
So I come back to the grassroots game. How many clubs have moved away from the values of the game? How many try to spend to compete at a level they feel is the level they “should be” at? Level 6 and 7 clubs paying players to prop them up, when they should be focusing on what players they have.
If you want to spend for success spend it on good coaching resources at youth level. Create a club atmosphere people want to come and be part of not because of “travel” expenses but because they love being part of something that is a release from the day to day.
I was very proud of my club Chesham getting promoted to level 7 for the 1st time but I always said I didn’t care where we played as long as people enjoyed it. I want to win things of course and there is no shame in wanting to be the best. However remember what we are here for? To provide opportunities to allow people to experience all the great things rugby union has to offer.
Embrace the fact that though we may not be able to batter our bodies on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon and saturate them in beer on the same evenings –well the latter can still be done, in a safe socially distanced manner– Rebuild relationships with local clubs up the road when some form of competition can be played. Now more than ever we need to look out for our neighbors even the noisy annoying ones…
Now is the chance to get back to enjoying the company of others on a weekend and just try and rebuild from the ground up on a solid foundation. Don’t rush back to league and cup fixtures and the week in week out battle that we have all faught over the years. Lets rethink what we do and how we do it so we can put some concrete in place of this ever shifting sand.
There is a movement in the women’s game at the moment “Enough” and it is about them being enough and that enough is enough in the way they are treated. I think this message needs to be shared among the whole rugby community.
Rugby is good enough, the sport and its values are enough we just need to make sure we do enough to remember them and reinstall them into our game.
Imagine you are hosting a party, you and your friends take turns in hosting and this time around you have made sure there is enough room for everyone. You have given out the best party bags any of the other hosts have ever given. The last host even had to ask for money to finish their party off. Everyone is having a great time. Yet when you bump your head and have to go to bed early the guests start celebrating like it’s the best thing in the world. Not only that some of the guests even live with you all year round but they cheer the loudest when you are carted off.
Welcome to Rugby world cup England 2015 Now I am going to be honest I never believed England could win this world cup. World cup teams write themselves on the team sheet 1 or 2 years before they first play in the tournament. England still has too many doubts over to many positions to have looked like a world cup winning side. That combined with a pressure they didn’t seem to expect resulted in our worst ever performance and the worst performance of any host nation.
All of that aside and with the group stages all done and dusted. I’m immensely proud of how we have hosted this tournament. I went to two stadiums the furthest apart from each other, seeing Tonga v Namibia in Exeter. Then we took an epic road trip for New Zealand v Tonga in Newcastle. In between I went to games in Milton Keynes and Birmingham. I watched England loose to Wales in the Birmingham fanzone and I even volunteered during two games at Milton Keynes. Every one of them was full to bursting and buzzing with a great atmosphere. No matter where you were from or who you supported.
The Fiji v Uruguay game in Milton Keynes was the week after England were tipped out of the tournament. I was afraid we would have no fans there and that the atmosphere would be flat but it was far from that. The stadium was buzzing the ground was a few hundred short of a sell out and both teams were cheered on in a great game.
I had similar fears for England V Uruguay but again the fans turned up and showed true support to a wounded and despondent England.
Despite the fact it’s over for England we have shown we are a great sporting nation, 2012 started it and the rugby world cup continued it. We care about all the competitors we support all the teams and we cheer on all the good things that sport produces.
I hope when the dust settles the people who relished in our downfall can look at the way we hosted it and give us credit for setting the bar high.
2.5 million Tickets sold, over 5 million applied for tickets. How World Rugby apportions this cash is a contentious issue for teams outside of tier one, but any way you paint it there is a lot of cash coming into the world of rugby on the back of this tournament.
All that said it’s not about money, it’s about trying to host the best party we can. Though we went to bed early we will be up in the morning to prepare a lavish breakfast for our guests and then a banquet style Sunday dinner. Don’t worry they don’t need to do the dishes we got that too.
The women’s game is healthier than ever. I would suggest this is one of the biggest myths in the modern rugby era. If you peel back the successful skin of the women’s game in England and you will see a huge gap in the positive noises coming from the people in charge of the game and the reality at grassroots. The access to quality rugby and an environment capable of supporting the future of England rugby is built on a foundation of sand and is in desperate need of a radical restructuring.
From a personal position I have been involved in coaching in the women’s game for nearly 10 years and I have been a follower of the game at all levels and have watched women’s premiership games, internationals, championship games two world cup finals and spent my summer holiday this year in Paris following the world cup. Then of course week in week out I am involved in coaching at grassroots level.
It is difficult to talk about quality and standards of the women’s game as a man without sounding hugely patronising so you will have to forgive me if that’s how this sounds. There is no doubt at the elite level of the sport the skill and quality of the game is of the highest standard. The premiership games have been similar to their male counterparts with some great ones and some not so great ones.
However once you get beneath the surface there is a massive need for investment in a national strategy to bring women into the game.
An example of the situation can be shown if we look at the statistics from the women’s national cup this year. The first round of matches had 44% of its 54 games given as walkovers with no game taking place. These are not just grassroots teams crying off these are teams with ambition. In the second round 31% was decided by walkover. This week at least two teams make the third round without having played a game.
Now I know the cup is a very different thing and maybe not the best example but if you were to suggest the women’s game is healthy you would think that more than 56% of the sides who decided to play in the cup would have players available to full fill the fixtures.
In the leagues, some are running at 21% walkover rate and week in week out some teams fail to fulfil fixtures. This isn’t meant as a witch hunt but more as a time for real honesty and a realistic look at where we are currently at.
My own experience as a coach in the bottom of the leagues highlights this issue even more. We started the season in a small 6 team league. Before a ball was kicked one of the sides folded from the league. During the Christmas break another side folded from the league and this week we have found out a 3rd team has also pulled out. We are left with a 3 team league. Look on the RFU website fixtures and results and you will see at every level other than the premiership sides have defaulted on games the lower you go the worse it is.
All the time more sides are starting up, with clubs believing that if they start a team and one of the women’s friends comes and coaches, then they have done something to grow the game. It needs a more thoughtful and long term approach to make it successful.
First of all requires clubs to be honest about their situations and the numbers of players they really have available. How many clubs are claiming a playing squad of 30+ which is made up of players who retired 5 years ago or who joined for a month and then never came back? It’s time for an honest approach so we can come up with some effective solutions to help move the game forward in the way so many people desire it to go. The simple truth is that this isn’t sustainable to keep adding more sides when there simply aren’t the players. A far better way to do this would be to encourage sides that don’t have women’s sides to promote local clubs that do, and to reward them in some way if they are able to point women towards these clubs.
All sides at all levels are borrowing players to fulfil fixtures and these needs to me more transparent and also not punishable. If it means more teams get 15 aside games of rugby then that has to be for the betterment of the game.
I was involved with my counties women’s team this year – an area where investment could really help—and this was a great environment for relationship building within clubs. I wrote a report at the end of the county season in which I highlighted the success of the programme.Buckinghamshire Women
In a large part due to the quality of the coaching (not my own I might add but two of England women’s squad) and this is where I believe the time for radical thinking has to come.
What better inspiration for people at the bottom of the ladder than to spend time with people at the top. At a time when England has gone professional in its sevens set up why not go professional as a 15’s side and contract the players to not only help them stay at their physical peak but also to have them as a resource to grow the game of rugby. Involve them in local coaching workshops for women, bringing clubs together and encouraging people to get involved. This has a knock on effect. When England women play their games, the crowd is made up of people who mainly have a connection to the players be it old clubs, current clubs, family and friends. Increase the connection and you increase the crowds.
There should be 15 aside leagues for teams that can fulfil these games. In local areas, clubs should play on alternate weeks enabling them to share players and resources over the games. 12 aside leagues should be put in place to make sure people are still playing when they are with sides that can’t get 15 players. This helps the game 2 fold, firstly it means less games get called off and secondly teams in those leagues will at least know the numbers they will be playing on a Sunday. Currently you train for a 15 aside game and find when you arrive its 12 aside and there is no front row. My team have travelled 4 hours to games this year with 20 players and found teams with only 10 players at the other end. This means that the already difficult substitution system is even harder to deal with. The reason I pick 12 aside as opposed to 10’s or 7’s is this means we keep pushing rugby as a game which includes all types of people.
Monthly county or regional coaching sessions which encourage the best coaches to get involved, because let’s not beat around the bush, there is bags of passion and commitment in the coaching at grassroots of the women’s game. However there is a real lack of quality and nothing is more discouraging to players than poor coaching. The main problem for this is that many clubs don’t see the women’s team as an integral part of their club but have a women’s team as a box ticking exercise. The coaching as a result tends to fall to whoever first puts their hand up or who has it forced up.
My opinion is simple; we need a big investment in the game for women. The RFU should be leading the way and setting an example to the world in making proper investments. Everyone who argues says the investment is wasted as there is no commercial desire for it. There is a desire but it isn’t that big at the moment, invest and grow it, promote it in a sustainable way and the desire will grow. The commercial interest will grow and then the investment will start to pay itself back. With more women we bring into the game the bigger the revenue, a greater interest in the elite game and a strategy to grow the game at all levels. There is no negative side to that but continuing to deny there are real problems in the women’s game will lead to a sticking plaster solution to a real problem.
Being at the opening game of this year’s Women’s Rugby World Cup was one of those moments where you stop and realise just how far the game has come.
I think back to 2010, when I was lucky enough to watch matches at Surrey Sports Park in Guildford. Don’t get me wrong — the rugby was outstanding, the players were already showing the quality, skill and toughness that deserved more attention, but the surroundings were modest. Small stands, sparse crowds, and a tournament that, for all its heart, felt hidden away. I know the final in 2010 had a huge buzz and atmosphere but at 15 thousand capacity it felt like women’s rugby was building something special, but it still had a long road ahead.
Fast forward to Sunderland in 2025, and the contrast was staggering. Walking into the Stadium of Light for the opening fixture, it felt like women’s rugby had truly arrived. A near sell-out crowd of 42 thousand, a major stadium, and an atmosphere that could rival any international sporting event. This wasn’t a side-show, this was the show.
Sunderland itself rose to the occasion brilliantly. The city seemed to embrace the tournament, and the stadium delivered the perfect stage. The noise, the colour, the energy — it was everything you’d hope for in a World Cup opener.
But what made the night unforgettable for me came just after the game. I found myself on Sunderland’s newly opened pedestrian bridge, which had its grand opening that very day. As if the occasion wasn’t already special enough, the fireworks began. I happened – by pure luck- to be stood in exactly the right spot, directly in front of the display. The sky lit up in a cascade of colours, perfectly framed above the bridge and the river below. It felt like the city itself was celebrating alongside us.
For me, those fireworks weren’t just a spectacle — they were symbolic. In 2010, I stood on the sidelines of a training ground pitch watching world-class players in front of a few hundred people. In 2025, I stood on a brand-new bridge, surrounded by thousands, watching the women’s game explode into the night sky.
What a journey it’s been — and what a future lies ahead.
Imagine if a professional rugby team stopped training once they could pass, tackle, and run a few phases of play. The idea is absurd. Every week — win or lose — they take to the training pitch, review performance, and push themselves harder than the game itself ever demands.
Yet in business, this is exactly what we do. We train people when they start, declare them “competent,” and then expect them to perform at their best without any structured ongoing development. It’s like sending a team into the cup final having not practised for six months — and then wondering why they lose.
The Sports Mindset: Competence Is Just the Beginning
In sport, the better you get, the more you train.
Elite athletes spend far more time training than they do competing. They drill fundamentals until they’re automatic, simulate high-pressure scenarios, and relentlessly refine tiny details that could mean the difference between winning and losing.
Competence isn’t the finish line; it’s the starting point for mastery. In fact, in sport, the moment you think you’ve “done enough” training is the moment you start falling behind.
The Business Reality: Training Stops Too Soon
Most companies pour resources into onboarding new staff. The first few weeks might be full of shadowing, workshops, and skill-building. Then, once someone reaches an acceptable performance level, the formal training stops.
From that point on, development is often left to the individual — if it happens at all. Tools evolve, markets change, processes drift, but the team’s skills stay the same. Over time, gaps widen.
The problem is, leaders often misread the symptoms. Slow adoption of new systems, inconsistent processes, and declining productivity are sometimes blamed on motivation or attitude. But the truth is simpler: people can’t perform at a higher level if they’re not shown how.
The Cost of Not Training
Failing to train continuously has real, measurable costs:
Skills stagnation — teams stop improving and innovation slows. Inefficient processes — outdated methods remain in use simply because “we’ve always done it that way.” Underutilised tools — expensive software or equipment is only used to a fraction of its potential. Lower adaptability — teams struggle to respond quickly to new opportunities or challenges.
In competitive industries, these costs quietly stack up until you’re overtaken by those who invest in keeping their people sharp.
Making Training a KPI
If we truly value training, we need to measure it — just like we do sales targets, delivery times, or profit margins.
Training should be an essential KPI, tracked and reviewed regularly.
That could mean:
Recording training hours per employee per quarter. Including skills progression in performance reviews. Tracking application of new knowledge in measurable outcomes (faster turnaround, improved customer satisfaction, increased sales conversion).
When training is tied to performance metrics, it becomes part of the culture rather than an afterthought.
Lessons from the Training Ground
Elite sports teams don’t just train for what’s already happened — they prepare for what might happen next. They:
Review performance data (video footage in sport; CRM analytics in business). Practise under pressure (tight match situations; high-demand customer scenarios). Develop depth of skill so that every player can step up when needed.
In business, we can take the same approach.
Instead of waiting for a crisis to reveal a skill gap, we train for future needs — new systems, changing customer expectations, emerging competitors.
From Manager to Coach
I’ve always been a passionate advocate of learning—ironically except when I was at school— As a coach I never stopped trying to learn and research how other successful coaches did things.
Managers ensure people meet current expectations.
Coaches help people exceed them.
If we want truly high-performing business teams, we need to lead like coaches — building practice into the weekly rhythm, creating space for learning, and celebrating progress as much as results.
Because here’s the truth: in both sport and business, you don’t rise to the occasion — you fall to the level of your training.
Call to Action:
Let’s stop treating training as a cost and start treating it as a performance investment. Measure it. Prioritise it. Reward it. Because the best teams — on the pitch and in the office — are the ones that never stop getting better.
If you’d asked me 25-30 years ago whether I’d become the chair of a rugby club, I’d have laughed. I had no rugby experience, no ambitions for leadership in sport, and frankly, no plan at all for what that part of my life would look like; but life has a habit of leading you to the places you need to be — even when you don’t know you need them.
The same goes for work. Some of the projects I’m most proud of weren’t on any five-year plan. They came from seeing a problem, taking a leap, and figuring it out along the way.
And somewhere between the spreadsheets, the training sessions, the late-night meetings, and the cold Tuesday nights at the rugby club, I’ve realised: purpose doesn’t always come from knowing where you’re going. Sometimes it comes from saying ‘yes’ and letting the path reveal itself.
Stepping into the Unknown
When I first walked into Chesham Rugby Club, I wasn’t looking for purpose. I was looking for something to do, some people to meet, and maybe a bit of exercise. What I found instead was a community that gave me more than I ever expected: friendships that feel like family, a sense of belonging, and — eventually — the responsibility of leading the club as chair.
If I’m being honest, that role scared me. It still does, some days. There’s no manual for how to lead a grassroots club through all its challenges — from funding worries to volunteer burnout to making sure everyone still remembers why we love the game in the first place. But here’s the thing: I’ve learned more about myself in that role than I ever would have by playing it safe.
The Power of Saying “Yes”
It’s the same story in my professional life. If you’d told me a few years ago that I’d be neck-deep in CRM systems, working to change how we operate, I might have questioned your sanity. But here I am, navigating Microsoft 365, learning on the go, and realising that sometimes the biggest value you bring is simply being willing to take ownership of problems no one else wants to touch.
Here’s what I’ve discovered: the most meaningful opportunities rarely arrive when you’re “ready.” They show up when you’re unsure, underprepared, and maybe a little terrified.
Purpose Isn’t Found — It’s Built
We often talk about “finding our purpose” as though it’s some hidden treasure waiting for us to stumble across it. I don’t think that’s how it works. Purpose is something you build, brick by brick, every time you contribute to something bigger than yourself.
It’s in showing up on a wet Tuesday night to support the team. It’s in getting pulled away from the thing you planned, to deal with an issue no one else wants to deal with. It’s in saying yes to the roles that stretch you, even when you doubt yourself.
In my experience, purpose doesn’t come with a title or a big moment of revelation. It grows quietly in the background while you’re busy doing the work, connecting with people, and taking on challenges that matter.
So, Why Am I Telling You This?
Maybe you’re at a crossroads. Maybe you’re waiting for the “perfect” opportunity to come along. Or maybe you’re wondering if you’re really ready for that new role, that new challenge, that new chapter in your life.
Here’s my advice: stop waiting. Say yes.
Don’t wait until you feel fully qualified or entirely confident. Growth rarely happens in comfort zones. It happens in the moments where you’re figuring it out as you go.
And yes, you’ll make mistakes. You’ll feel like an imposter. You’ll wonder what on earth you’ve gotten yourself into, but on the other side of that discomfort? That’s where purpose lives.
Final Thought
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start.
Step into the unknown. Say yes to the opportunities that scare you a little. And trust that, somewhere along the way, you’ll build a life filled with meaning, connection, and purpose — even if it’s nothing like the plan you thought you’d follow.
You will have to forgive me for spamming your feeds with this, but it helps me to stay accountable by writing down my targets.
I was recently at a funeral for a man who played rugby at my club. A decent man and good fun character who sadly passed away too soon. Now often this brings moments of reflection about how we live but I had a more visceral reality hit home when I could not find a shirt that would fit me to wear for this funeral. Despite having bought a new shirt only a month ago, it no longer fitted.
I bit the bullet and stood on the scales the next morning to find I was 120kg.
My issues with my weight have been life long, types of food, eating food, sweet foods savoury foods, consumes my thoughts. Food makes me feel better when I am struggling, it makes me feel better when I am celebrating. It is an addiction for me, certainly sweet foods.
So the next day, I joined the rejoined the gym after a two year absence and went and filled my fridge with healthy foods and started another journey to hopefully improving my lifestyle.
This is not going to be easy, and I have set myself some goals, the main one is to be under 100kg by the time the Women’s Rugby World cup starts next August.
I am also going to be doing some fundraising for MIND during this as well so more details to follow.
This gives me a clear target and after the first week of full-on effort I am already doing ok. I have done it before, and I know I can do it again it is just finding a way to change habits so it can stay off.
At Twickenham on Saturday the festival atmosphere of England women’s rugby games continued. A few friends and myself managed to get hospitality tickets, which I believe had sold out. The room was full, the atmosphere really good.
It still seems utterly insane to me, the speed of this growth. It only seems like yesterday I was stood in grounds with tin roofs stands, to watch a women’s six nations game. There would have been about 100 other people mainly family, that here I was, at Twickenham, in a hospitality event at Twickenham 12 years later.
This growth has been driven by a union who truly has seen the future and is helping to drive it. It hasn’t all been smooth sailing, in the past the RFU like many unions were slow to grasp the potential. Now I feel they not only understand it, but it is also becoming a primary focus.
One really noticeable difference this weekend, was that in among this festival crowd, were more and more of the people who looked like me. I hate to admit it but what I mean is, grey haired old men. The types that often fill the stadium for the men’s games. Clearly coming around in bigger and bigger numbers to the great atmosphere and enjoyable rugby that is being played.
For young people, the women representing England are fast becoming icons. Characters that young people can relate to. Sharing and promoting the stories of their journeys to girls and young people in general; for whom there are now opportunities open to them to go and explore the great game. These opportunities were not there 10 years ago, now they are all around. They are all unique, the speedsters and the hot steppers and the powerful pack of forwards.
There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth around the speed of growth around oppositions to this dominance. I do understand it, I don’t necessarily agree with it. People like to watch dominant sports teams and sports stars, The All Blacks during their dominance never failed to draw a crowd because they were too good, even at times unbeatable. Tiger Woods dominance in golf never saw crowds drop off because they knew he would win. There are many reasons people will come along, no matter how one sided the game may look; A chance to see a generational sports team; the characters that are doing such a good job promoting the sport and themselves; the atmosphere is good; there is good value for money; also, they might see an historical upset.
So as we come up to the final weekend, and the best set of games we could possibly have. I can’t say enough positive things about the direction of travel. hopefully my hangover will be gone by then.
P.S. As a prop the 4 starting props for this weekend’s final game are just on another level!
This weekend Gloucester Hartpury takes on Exeter Chiefs in the Women’s Premier 15s final. This short article is about 1 player who I feel is going to play a key role in that game. In both Exeter and Gloucester there are two teams littered with some eye-opening talent but one player who I feel can be a key difference for her side is Maud Muir; Muir played loosehead prop in the semi-final and produced a player of the match performance in my opinion.
In the semi-final against Bristol, she stood out for me after making the 1st huge tackle of the game. During the build-up to the semis, many things were said about the props from Saracens and Bristol: the abrasive Hannah Botterman, the hard running Sarah Bern but not much was said about Muir, who for me, was a standout force of nature. A force of nature that deserves recognition.
Technically she is an incredible scrummager, who maintains a great shape throughout the duration of the scrum; she is capable of applying and maintaining pressure on her opposite number, and in my opinion was unlucky with a couple of calls from the referee that could easily have gone the other way.
Her around the field statistics are equally impressive. She made 14 carries in the game, the same number as Sarah Bern and Lark Davies and only her teammate Zoe Aldcroft made more in her team. These were the hard carries that get teams front foot ball, and this is what she did.
More impressively is her defence; she made the second most tackles of all players on the pitch with 19, only the incredibly impressive Alex Matthews made more with 25.
Now, take into account she started the game with her hand strapped like a mummy, and an ankle strapped from early in the game and yet she was still on the field on 79 minutes.
For me Muir could end up being the most important player on the pitch on Saturday and if she isn’t she will no doubt provide a significant contribution. In terms of talent across the front row Muir—for me – is the best in England at the moment. and let me tell you the most terrifying of statistics she is 21 years of age. How good she can be in years to come is an incredibly exciting prospect and I encourage anyone to watch her closely on Saturday.
I watched the film ‘Air’ about Nike signing Michael Jorden as one of their athletes in a deal that went on to make both parties multimillionaires. I was struck by the whole thing; however as much as I loved it, there was one part that I found made me want to scream:
Now my coaching voice loves it, my operational day to day job just rolls his eyes thinking about all the Don Draper wannabes thinking this is how to do business.
I know for every moment the process was broken someone, somewhere had to pick up the pieces: You can have a maverick approach to business, but only if you employ enough detail-oriented people to follow behind picking up the chaos created by such a workplace.
Sales driven business have a real dislike for process, they see them as a handbrake when in reality good, accurate process are the lubricant that ensures the smooth and efficient movement of all parts of a business. If they are good, they ensure that important things can be prioritised and most importantly actioned with expedience and accuracy; equally they ensure the business functions in a connected way right through to the execution of any outputs.
There is a difference in processes that add to the way you function and processes that become a tick box exercise. These become the things that people see only as unnecessary bureaucracy. I have been involved in “process protection” – where someone creates a process that later down the line maybe becomes a handbrake rather than an accelerator—yet because someone created it, they protect it at all costs and cannot see past it. If you cannot answer the question “why do we do this and is there a better way?” in a sentence, your process is probably not the right one.
In reality if you want to talk about good processes, they are also fundamental to creating a positive culture in your workplace: processes should also be about asking the question of when my role in this process is complete does it pass on clear and concise information to the people who next need to act on it. Thinking about that is critical for better systems.
I guess this is the main thrust of this point, we need to constantly review how we do things and be adaptable to changing them as and when the needs arise. Businesses change at a rapid rate and all processes need to be constantly reviewed. Let’s take a moment to think of that poor finance team at Nike, they are probably still trying to tie up the overtime request on the Air Jordans!
After nearly 17 years I have finally decided to hang up my whistle as a coach at the end of this season. There are multiple reasons – which I will touch on in this blog – but in truth, the passion that drove me for as long as it has is just not there anymore. I would say in fact for the last half of this season I probably have not done the team I coach justice as I have been so out of love with it. When you lose that spark, it becomes very hard to reignite. I am not saying never again, but for now no more.
I have had a ball coaching; I have loved it. I have been lucky enough to coach some great players and even greater people. I have had some success and some failure, but none of that matters as much as seeing the player who goes on to achieve the potential you thought that they could. The sense of belonging I see in players who come in, new to the game. Most important of all, watching some of the young players I have coached grow into really nice people is far more rewarding to me than any accolades they may ever achieve in sport.
I will never lay claim to being the best coach, I have tried to make the game enjoyable and different from prescriptive coaching styles, I have tried to be fair. I have tried my best to empower players to make mistakes without fear, so they can learn from them as part of the coaching process. I am certain I didn’t always get it right, and certainly not every player will have liked my approach or style. That is something you have to accept as a coach.
I have two important lessons from involvement in coaching grassroots sport #1: You have to put what is right for the majority 1st and suffer the consequences of the individual’s annoyance at these decisions. #2 You can’t fix everything, so find the biggest problem and try your best!
I am pleased I am calling it a day at Bletchley Rugby Club as it is the one place where I have always felt valued and respected as a coach in my own right. It has been one of the most enjoyable coaching periods of my time. Coaching a team of really nice humans. This was a team I coached in the past; that asked me to help out for a few sessions, and here I am 2 seasons later. This is a group of players and volunteers who have had to really battle to survive. Some players moved on and all manner of vultures circled the team waiting to pick at its bones. They have had ex-players set up a team a couple of miles away; contacting oppositions of the teams they were to play and telling them Bletchley had folded. County coaches actively tried to poach players, despite fielding two sides at their own club. These situations were what motivated me to stay involved for as long as I did; to stick two fingers up to those people who wanted the team to fail.
The team knuckled down and got on with the job. The first season we won one game conceded over 600 points and got relegated: I have never enjoyed a season more. As mad as that sounds, over my coaching career I have coached unbeaten seasons, I have coached relegation seasons and yet this one was a group really digging in and trying their best, in a league that was far too tough for where they were at. We put enjoyment at the centre of all that we did, we made sure every session was fun, every game we set small targets and they just embraced the challenge and the reality of the situation. I would say, maybe this season I lost some of that original spirit in an attempt to improve the way we played.
Bletchley came at the right time for me: the club I was coaching at before, I don’t feel ever really took my coaching seriously, or I feel, valued my thoughts on where the club was going. In many ways my desire to coach was always motivated for many years by a dream to be the head coach at that rugby club. The club I had been part of for 20+ years. I applied for the role and set out a 3-year plan, laying out the challenges that were coming to the club and what I felt we needed to do. 3 people applied I didn’t get past the 1st round. 2 coaches less qualified than me did. One dropped out as it was too far, and the one the club choose didn’t make it to the start of the season. I was told it wasn’t personal, it was business, just like the mafia when they kill someone off. It may not have been personal to the decision makers, but it was to me: deeply personal. Everything I laid out in my interview about the challenges the club was going to face this season have come to pass.
I think what my experiences have taught me have been that in grassroots coaching you are not in control of very much really. You can be in control of trying to make rugby as enjoyable and welcoming as possible. You have to develop a thick skin, which isn’t something I am particularly good at. You have to accept criticism from people less qualified and less experienced than you and your pathway is often completely out of your control.
In my opinion, grassroots coaching isn’t about winning things, that is a by-product of getting the little things right. It’s about creating a place that people can come to escape, to spend time with their friends and be part of something that supports them as people. Teach and inspire people to love the game, to love their clubs and let that be the only measure for success.
Personally, I’ve just completed a mentoring course through the RFU for mentoring new coaches. I’m hoping that I can find some use for that. I’m going to write my book, I’m going to watch rugby and I’m going to be a fan of the game. The challenges facing rugby at grassroots are multiple, and we need to go outside the box in the need to find new ways to engage people. I will always love the game and always be inspired by the people who play it. It’s been a privilege to be involved.
Rugby Nut 